Self-doubt, confidence, and the need to get over myself
Stacey sent my daughter and me a link to a great article at CNN (which I believe is republishing it from Oprah.com) titled Squash self-doubt, find your confidence.
For those of you that are not my cousin, Stacey is my wife.
Despite my seeming extroversion on the internet, I am actually quite introverted in real life. Almost paralyzingly so in social situations, but I can sometimes set it aside enough to participate in business situations. Unfortunately, my daughter is showing similar tendencies at school. She wasn’t always like this, but she was subjected in the past to some cruel children that taunted her about her weight - she is not fat, but she is always one of the biggest kids - and about her intellect (gifted). So, she withdraws in school situations.
For me, I’ve always been shy, but my weight has been a big factor in how I approach social situations as an adult, and I know I am not alone. Some have no problem with this, regardless of their size; a brother of mine is an extrovert and always the center of attention in every room in a positive way, even when he was 360 lbs.
The article I mentioned earlier is about the “spotlight effect” many people feel. In a recent study, it was determined that people typically feel about twice as much attention as they were actually receiving.
So, if you already feel insignificant, you can continue to do so knowing it is a fact. 
For me, I am always uncomfortable exercising in public. I believe there is someone behind every curtain in every house laughing at the way my fat jiggles. I handle walking just fine, but when I get in decent-enough shape to start jogging, I typically wait until after sundown or find out-of-the-way, deserted roads to start. I hate gyms for the same reason, and this is one big reason why I don’t go regularly.
And public swimming? Fuhgeddaboutit.
So the task in front me is to get over myself. People I see in passing cars are as blind to me as I am to others when I’m driving. People in their homes are watching TV, not their windows. People passing me on the sidewalk are exercising also, and are worried about how THEY look, not how I look.
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2 Responses to “Self-doubt, confidence, and the need to get over myself”
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Thanks for sharing this! What a great reminder… I always feel like I’m the focus of people’s attention, but really it’s just me being self-deprecating– the only focus I have is my own!
[…] I found a great path at my church last Wednesday when I was waiting for my daughter during her CCD class. It was beautiful and quiet. Will I see other parents there from time to time? Undoubtedly. Will I be open to seeing if they want to have a standing walking time during the kids’ class? I should be, but as I already revealed, I have some issues. […]